"The Art of Bristle is a book about one woman's journey to find herself after years of a painful life. A painful life is often found, but never shared. Thankfully, Judy Kowalsky is ready to share. Her book is full of honesty, acceptance of being an adult child of an alcoholic, pain, loss, and grief in her life. However, it is not just about her but includes all who identify with her. I strongly recommend her book. As you read it you will realize that it teaches and touches your heart. Judy's heart is in this book."
Robert J. Ackerman, PhDAuthor of, Perfect Daughters, Adult Daughters of AlcoholicsCo-founder of the National Association for Children of Addiction
Robert J. Ackerman, PhDAuthor of, Perfect Daughters, Adult Daughters of AlcoholicsCo-founder of the National Association for Children of Addiction
Many of us spend adulthood processing childhood, developmentally stuck at points of trauma, often feeling isolated and different until we find healing. Through sharing her pain, Judy’s path toward regeneration gifts others with the knowledge that we are not alone. The Art of Bristle, like Judy, is authentic, gently written by an empathic, faithful soul who found a way out of darkness, fear and anger borne through cruelty and judgement. Judy’s memories, while beautifully penned, send one back to the safety and innocence of childhood and then step repeatedly outside of inviolability. Judy artfully paints pictures of her life, relating struggles of growing up too soon, bearing misplaced blame, becoming an actress portraying normalcy, developing survival skills, establishing boundaries, accepting that sometimes there are no answers and ultimately embracing self-acceptance and forgiveness. Those who practice in any medical or mental health clinic setting should read The Art of Bristle to understand better who sits in the chair across from them. Those who have experienced abuse, and its sequelae will hopefully realize that we are blameless, that we are and always have been more than adequate, and that we are neither too much, nor too little. We are intelligent, we are kind; we are enough; we love, and we are loved.I knew Judy in high school, a sweet, quiet girl with a beautiful smile who hid her pain well, as I did mine. We didn’t talk about abuse back then and hid our bruises. Hopefully, this book will contribute to effecting change, beginning dialogues, reducing stigma, and encouraging the acceptance and promotion of people seeking help. Dr. Sherry Lynn Jones, EdD, RN, MS
People have highly praised Judy Kowalsky's book "The Art of Bristle." Reviewers describe it as honest, humorous, poignant, and emotionally raw. The book shares Kowalsky's journey of overcoming a painful life marked by alcoholism, suicide, and tragic loss, resonating with those who have faced similar challenges. It is recommended not only for its storytelling but also for the insights it provides into the impacts of childhood trauma and abuse, making it a valuable read for anyone in the medical or menal health fields as well as for individuals seeking understanding and healing from similar experiences. Wild Rumpus Books
“I am an adult daughter of an alcoholic…I have been angry for a long time…” ~Judy Kowalsky THE ART OF BRISTLE is one woman's journey to find herself after years of a painful life—a difficult upbringing, then the loss of a son.“I grew up sensing other people’s emotions. With no words spoken, I could feel whether they wanted me around or not. I’d had lots of practice sensing the moods and emotions of my parents. I was good at observing and reading my surroundings. The atmosphere in our home changed like the weather. I had to be able to read the room well if I wanted to stay safe. I felt like I was on constant high alert.”When something bad happened to her, something hurtful, embarrassing, or humiliating—an experience that would make most people want to run and hide—Judy BRISTLED. She learned to bristle from her mother. The dictionary says BRISTLE means “to rise and stand stiffly” or “to have an aggressively defensive attitude in response” to a criticism or slight.“I felt unloved…I didn’t like myself for being different…I blamed myself for everything. From the age of eleven, when I was in the fifth grade on into adulthood, I considered everyone to be better than me…I was shy, naïve, and a people pleaser. In my mind, I was beneath everyone. I was ‘bad and no good,’ a phrase I often used to describe myself while growing up. My parents’ words and actions told me who and what I was. When you’re told things over and over again, you come to believe them.” Judy’s definition of BRISTLE is “pretending.” Bristle became her pretense. After any awkward or shameful experience, she would throw her shoulders back, stand tall and erect, and make believe the event never happened. Eventually, she believed her own lie.As an adult, after many heartbreaking experiences, “I remember getting on my knees and asking God so many times, pleading with him for answers, especially since my son Nicholas died ten years ago, “Why am I so angry?” I mean, anger was a normal emotion for me, or any parent for that matter, after their child dies. It’s part of the mourning process. I know that, but I have been angry at times to the point of depression. I don’t want to be this angry. So, while I waited for answers, I started to write, and while I wrote, I could see my prayers being answered…”THE ART OF BRISTLE shares Judy’s healing after years of abuse and decades of bearing the scars of a difficult upbringing. She writes with raw emotion, with openness and honesty, sharing memorable details, and in a way that draws others with similar backgrounds into her heartfelt experiences. She throws out a lifeline to others sinking in the waters stirred by the trauma of alcoholic parents, the trauma of loss and grief.If you are searching to make sense of the mean and messy chaos life sometimes offers, check out THE ART OF BRISTLE. Judy Kowalsky was on the CREATIVE NONFICTION panel at the 2024 Bill Peach Franklin Book Festival.Kathy Rhodes Authors Circle Mid-TN
People have highly praised Judy Kowalsky's book "The Art of Bristle." Reviewers describe it as honest, humorous, poignant, and emotionally raw. The book shares Kowalsky's journey of overcoming a painful life marked by alcoholism, suicide, and tragic loss, resonating with those who have faced similar challenges. It is recommended not only for its storytelling but also for the insights it provides into the impacts of childhood trauma and abuse, making it a valuable read for anyone in the medical or menal health fields as well as for individuals seeking understanding and healing from similar experiences. Wild Rumpus Books
“I am an adult daughter of an alcoholic…I have been angry for a long time…” ~Judy Kowalsky THE ART OF BRISTLE is one woman's journey to find herself after years of a painful life—a difficult upbringing, then the loss of a son.“I grew up sensing other people’s emotions. With no words spoken, I could feel whether they wanted me around or not. I’d had lots of practice sensing the moods and emotions of my parents. I was good at observing and reading my surroundings. The atmosphere in our home changed like the weather. I had to be able to read the room well if I wanted to stay safe. I felt like I was on constant high alert.”When something bad happened to her, something hurtful, embarrassing, or humiliating—an experience that would make most people want to run and hide—Judy BRISTLED. She learned to bristle from her mother. The dictionary says BRISTLE means “to rise and stand stiffly” or “to have an aggressively defensive attitude in response” to a criticism or slight.“I felt unloved…I didn’t like myself for being different…I blamed myself for everything. From the age of eleven, when I was in the fifth grade on into adulthood, I considered everyone to be better than me…I was shy, naïve, and a people pleaser. In my mind, I was beneath everyone. I was ‘bad and no good,’ a phrase I often used to describe myself while growing up. My parents’ words and actions told me who and what I was. When you’re told things over and over again, you come to believe them.” Judy’s definition of BRISTLE is “pretending.” Bristle became her pretense. After any awkward or shameful experience, she would throw her shoulders back, stand tall and erect, and make believe the event never happened. Eventually, she believed her own lie.As an adult, after many heartbreaking experiences, “I remember getting on my knees and asking God so many times, pleading with him for answers, especially since my son Nicholas died ten years ago, “Why am I so angry?” I mean, anger was a normal emotion for me, or any parent for that matter, after their child dies. It’s part of the mourning process. I know that, but I have been angry at times to the point of depression. I don’t want to be this angry. So, while I waited for answers, I started to write, and while I wrote, I could see my prayers being answered…”THE ART OF BRISTLE shares Judy’s healing after years of abuse and decades of bearing the scars of a difficult upbringing. She writes with raw emotion, with openness and honesty, sharing memorable details, and in a way that draws others with similar backgrounds into her heartfelt experiences. She throws out a lifeline to others sinking in the waters stirred by the trauma of alcoholic parents, the trauma of loss and grief.If you are searching to make sense of the mean and messy chaos life sometimes offers, check out THE ART OF BRISTLE. Judy Kowalsky was on the CREATIVE NONFICTION panel at the 2024 Bill Peach Franklin Book Festival.Kathy Rhodes Authors Circle Mid-TN